Am I a Fool?

I have to wonder if I was a fool for thinking I was different. From what I have seen I was not different, but a fool for thinking that. I was ask out by someone couple of times and I just said “OK” to the person, but not really meaning it. Finally, I ask the person to do something and the person said “yes” to me, so I tried to meet on two different times, but it never happen for some reason or another, I accepted it. Did that person just do really because they wanted to or was because of another reason? Was I used to as a pawn for another motive? I really do not know! I have just have wonder was I a fool in all of this? I know it would have never been more then it was. I keep going on with my life as nothing really is wrong, something I do very well or maybe I do not that well, I can never tell.  I am told I am “nice person” by people I know, but that is all I am to people that know me. Read More …

Snow Storm 2009

Yesterday, It started to Snow for the first time where I live in Portland, Oregon. It was a change from the rain that the state gets. About 20 minutes before it started to snow where I was at, my manager called me at work and ask me if snowing there, but it was just an overcast outside. There was customer in the store that I was helping and we were talking about it snowing and about five minutes later, it started to snow.

That night it started to rain and all the snow was gone!

Here is some picture of it later that day.

A Manager I am NOT!

I was talking with my manager today and I found out that I am very bad manager. I have never been in real position where I was manager. The last job I work at, the district manager never made me a real assist manager because he never thought I could do that job. I only had the title to get paid more money. As I think about it, I really think he is right about it. I do not think I can handle the stress of the people, but I use to be network administrator and that job is more stressful then this one, but why can not handle it? What I believe is “I am a babysitter”, what I need to do, is to have better control of the people that are around me. I think, I give them to much latitude in what they do and I need to stop doing that. I need to nice to them, but still be control of what is going on and that I am not to what I think. What I need to do is learn how not to micromanage people, I have been told I do that. I have to have better respect for people. When I say things, I have do it more polite way.

Brittany Murphy Dies

I logon to yahoo today and seen article about Brittany Murphy died on Sunday, December 20, 2009.  I was shock at first because she was very young. I am 2 years older then her and this makes me think about myself could died that young, too. That should make anyone think they can die that young. I do not remember hearing she ever drank alcohol or did drugs, if she did she was very private about it. From what I can remember she was very private person and not a wild child like the rest of the Hollywood Youth. From that article it say she died of natural cause, but they are not sure yet.

Here is the Yahoo article on her.  Click Here

As I Sit Alone

As I sit alone here at Washington Square Mall, I see lots of people with others, but for me, I am alone. There was a guy sitting next to me. He was talking to a family member about a trip he took last year and how much it cost. He had one business call and he called at least one company about a balance on an account he had. I see what type life I have..It’s lonely one that I do the same thing over and over everyday. When I came in I held open the door for this young lady..Something I would have done if would done for anyone. Later that same young lady sat by me when she ate her dinner. I think she when to same place I got food at. I see people walk by that look happy, but I really can not tell if they are or they are not happy. There is family sitting behind me and the baby is crying and screaming and her mother telling her no for some reason. I see the mall employees constantly working to keep the place clean for everyone. Back to young lady that was sitting by me, she was attractive Asian, maybe Filipino or Thai and from what I could tell she was not married and had bag from Northstrom in her hand that she carry in from the car. More people come and go, but I Sit Alone, not even getting phone call, but who is going to call me? Work? Ex-Wife? Friend? No-One!

People have stories to tell, but I have no story to tell because I have nothing interesting to say. Just like this my blog, who really reads it? From what I can see its Goolge Bot, BlogPulseLive, Baiduspider+, Q9 Networks Inc., Amazon, Inc., but are there any real people that look at other then Search Bot? I really do not know. I had one person I know tell me the looks at it.. I got 139 Vistors, 498 Pageviews, 1368 Spider for December so far, but is the vistors real or just automated computer programs logon and cataloguing my website?

I did have someone that I know come up to me and talking to me for brief moment. Which I like that, it made me be notice, which that does not happen very much. I am for the most part invisible to everyone. Even when in a room of people that I know I am still invisible to the people there.