I have to wonder if I was a fool for thinking I was different. From what I have seen I was not different, but a fool for thinking that. I was ask out by someone couple of times and I just said “OK” to the person, but not really meaning it. Finally, I ask the person to do something and the person said “yes” to me, so I tried to meet on two different times, but it never happen for some reason or another, I accepted it. Did that person just do really because they wanted to or was because of another reason? Was I used to as a pawn for another motive? I really do not know! I have just have wonder was I a fool in all of this? I know it would have never been more then it was. I keep going on with my life as nothing really is wrong, something I do very well or maybe I do not that well, I can never tell. I am told I am “nice person” by people I know, but that is all I am to people that know me.
Something that I have always remember was a quote from a movie: “Who is the more foolish? The fool or the one that follows the fool?” I have wonder which one I am?
People tell me that I am smart, but I really do not think I am smart because of choices I make in my life make me very dumb!
I keep people at distance so they never know the real me because if let someone know the real me, I get hurt in the end. Do I have any real friends or are they my friend when they need something? From what I have seen I have no real friends. I am only useful when it is convenient for them. I go days without talking to anyone. If was not for me going to work and talking to the people there, I would not talk to anyone. My own family does not call me. The only person that calls to see how I am doing is my ex-wife, but even then that is every couple of days. I live alone in bottom half of my in-laws house and if something was to happen to me no-one would know because they do not even talk to me. I was sick for three days and they seen that I did not go to work, which that is unusual for me because I work all the time. I could been hurt or something and they did not even bother to check, but they called me lays because I was not working or something. What they did not know was I had high fever.
I think people see that I can be used easily in things and they take advantage of it.
After thinking about this…I really think I am the foolish in all this!
I hope people will see me for how I really am, but I do not think people do that!
I had one person tell me one time that i was “charming and handsome”, but was the truth?
IF you tell people how you really feel or something about yourself and they do not like it, it changes the person in a small or big way. They might say everything is OK, but the reality of it is they are not OK. They look at you differently and you can tell by the way they look at you or talk to you or just how they act all to gather when you are around. The image they had of you is out of focus and will never be in the same clearness as before. They might not talk to you or just have idle conversation just to be friendly to you. As for you, you need to live with the choice that was made and try to get not let everything come crashing down on you.
Everybody Plays the Fool <– Click to listen